remember the last time we were speeding down this highway? [entries|friends|calendar] newyork 1399 [ website | cars and calories ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[08 Nov 2006|11:00am] i know i don't use this at all & i probably won't post again on here for a long time, if ever. so maybe this is my last post! & all i want to say is my life is the best it could EVER be. you know when you just have moments where everything seems perfect and you can't stop smiling & you know everythings going to be ok? i've had that for the past couple weeks, its amazing! i've got my first exam tonight for my accountancy course, which i'll hopefully ace. i will become everything and i will do everything because everyone else is too scared to try !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is actually bliss. p.s. listening to nintendo beats while yr @ work makes it so much better (thankyou james!)

[21 Sep 2006|01:15pm] i will update this properly soon but all i have to say is CAN I GET A HELL YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bodies under my floor

[17 Apr 2006|03:49pm] sometimes i actually feel really sorry for people. how oblvious to everything they can be and how much things will hurt them when it blows up in thier face. i say i feel sorry for them, but i guess thats a lie. i actually find it quite amusing. theres now 01 bodies under my floor

[22 Mar 2006|06:24pm] i'm invisible. and when i'm not invisible i'm in the way.

[21 Mar 2006|12:50pm] i'm in love. theres now 01 bodies under my floor

[21 Feb 2006|03:31pm] basically i feel like crying.

[18 Feb 2006|06:37pm] i love this. it makes me want to cry and smile and jump on paul. There's This Girl... [09 Dec 2005|02:05am] [ music | Nina Simone - Don't Smoke In Bed ] I dont even know her...AT ALL...well a little...and I can't stop thinking about her...not in a creepy "I LOVE HER SHE WILL BE MINE WAY" but in a way that hurts just a little and in a way that I want to know her, I want her to be able to call me, and to hang out with me when im nearby, to be something more than, well nothing? This probably doesn't make sense, and to be honest I feel very stupid writing this, this is hard because to be honest I dont even know what I should be feeling. If youve ever seen Lost In Translation, it's that kind of feeling that you can't explain, but you know it's there. You know, what Bill Murray feels for the girl, and what she feels too, even though they are both married...they have this connection...im not saying its right..but its there and....fuck....I dont know if this girl is 'married' or single or not...maybe I still kind of am...I don't know anymore...fuck...this is horrible...she is amazing, and pretty and cute and funny...and pretty much everything I could ever hope to want...and fuck...its the same as before...distance...fuck. Timing Sucks. Timing Sucks. Timing Sucks. Go to sleep Paul. bodies under my floor

[15 Feb 2006|11:02pm] i just had the best valentines day ever. i have the best boyfriend ever. theres now 01 bodies under my floor

[10 Feb 2006|02:15am] uhm this week i actually left the house for a bit ! me & paul went to the pub and we met dave and we all hung out. me & paul had a wrestling match on the floor. me paul & rich just got back from subway & its 3:21am. there were loads of chavs that shouted at us : "yr willy is the same size as my dick" wtf?? anyway that was pretty fun. i'm so wide awake and i can't actually sleep. its freezing outside. we didn't get in any fights so thats a bonus. i went into college too to meet dave & i was rlly hoping to see everyone but i only saw hannah which was nice. but i wanted to see fran and sam and sarah and katie but maybe soon. actually i'm meeting fran tomorrow i think and i haven't seen her in over a month ! i need to get out more. and she gets to meet paul and she can see just how amazing he is. he showed me a rlly old post he writ in his livejournal about me before we were together and its actually the cutest thing in the whole wide world. i couldn't stop smiling. he is so amazing. i can't even put into words how much he means to me. i don't want to sound cheesy but i'll end up doing it anyway. whtvr. he makes me smile every second of the day. and he has this cute little wrinkle on the corner of his eye that i found today and i think thats swell. everyday i find new things and everyday i smile more and everyday.. yeah. when he's not here i don't know what to do with myself. when he goes into town for an hour or two i get so paranoid that he's gone back to bournemouth. which is stupid because he lives here now but i still get worried. but i like that. because when he comes back i get so excited and i feel like i haven't seen him for weeks and i just want to hug him and i want him to hold me for hours. i can't really explain it. he has a face that glows like christmas. theres now 02 s bodies under my floor

[09 Feb 2006|01:10pm] i'm moving out on the 23rd ! i finally get my own place. go me. :]] i rlly think my boy is amazing. bodies under my floor

[07 Feb 2006|11:16pm] paul moved to basingstoke. he lives in basingstoke now. he got a job & he starts on wednesday. theres now 02 s bodies under my floor

[06 Feb 2006|07:40pm] GLAMOUR week update : i'm updating because annie doesn't want to update hers yet. she's got her first livejournal ! the horror squad ! click & add her ok. uhh my week's been the same as usual. me & paul have just been watching lots of films. i got memento today & it made me smile ! happy times. me, annie, paul & rich are moving out. its going to be awesome. we're getting two flats - rich & paul and then me & annie. but in the same building so we can always see eachother. annie made me a cute little bag. thankyou annie. yoof crew have been creating havok. mari pissed on a car. everyone spat on cars. paul kicked over bins and tried to open the bird cage to set all the birds free. he also threw loads of huge rocks all over the road and they smashed everywhere. stole FOR SALE signs. threw everyones garbage from thier bins into thier gardens ! destroyed the irish center. oh dear. paul's in london at the moment and i'm waiting for him to get back. then we can watch memento [again!] and that would be nice. me & annie are going to have a nice night in somewhen soon. we're going to get some bottles of wine and watch movies and smoke until our lungs hurt. that should be fun. ok shitty update over with now. annie update ! theres now 06 s bodies under my floor

[01 Feb 2006|05:48am] STRANGERS NEED YOUR GUNS. PLEASE             DONATE. i've deleted every post i ever made on this journal because it was a pointless journal. but i want to start using it again ! and i should, so i will. i wrote another post earlier but i was all skatty because i was on sleeping pills so it didn't rlly make sense. and i deleted it. but this one i'm going to do properly. and it should be long. so, fun for you. well, its 6:11am. everyones asleep so they can get up for work in the morning. i don't work so i'm not asleep. and i'm sitting here with a cigarette and empty cans of moutain dew and alcohol. i don't understand why everyones asleep. i feel like its midday. i feel like going out for a jog. i feel like writing a story. i feel like having a shower. i feel like making little gifts for everyone so when they wake up with little presents i can see them smile. i won't do any of these. get the flyers up. have you seen the girl with my heart on her sweater? send her round my way.. these past few weeks have been pretty amazing. i met this boy. oh, this boy. he is amazing. i feel alot more than half of that. i love being with him so much. i never want to leave him. when he's around me i just feel so safe. everythings perfect and i know everythings going to be ok. he makes me love myself so much more than i ever have. he makes me feel content with being who i am. being with him has made me the happiest ive ever been. and i rlly appreciate. thankyou. this boy, my boy, is amazing. i want him to hold me all the time and never let go. never let go. back to my week; i've been to reading to do a bit of shopping with paul & mari & sanders. which was pretty neat. annie had her birthday ! i don't remember much of the party as i drunk too much and had to leave early. but i know she had a good day, which she deserved. i miss annie, alot. but things will change & i'll get to see her more hopefully. i miss mari too. i feel like ive been neglecting her sometimes and i shouldn't because she means the world to me and i should let her know that more. on saturday me & paul went back to his briefly >> we made a list of all the things we had to do & ticked every one off ! i like making lists. especially if i do everything i was supposed to do. thats super. after we got from pauls and after lots of hectic drama we got to basingstoke [EVENTUALLY!]. me, mari, annie & paul went to london to see takingbacksunday. i enjoyed this alot. we got a little drink, not enough i must add. takingbacksunday were great even though i couldn't see them. i was stuck in the middle where every little knobber decides to push & thinks its funny to hit us. paul & charlie looked after me & annie though. mari had to go to the back which sucked and i couldnt go with her. :[[[ paul & charlie created so much space for me and annie to dance in. we even had a special dance ! annie+charlie & me+paul ballroom danced in the middle of everyone and it was so cute. i had the best time, i rlly did. we found money on the floor too so we bought mcdonalds and cigarettes ! bonus. the rest of the week ive been watching too many movies with my boy. basingstoke/ringwood. pictures from little brothers are quite nice to receive. they made me smile. right now its 6:35am. everyone should be up for work in half hour. i'm listening to straylight run. its 6:36am 6:38am 6:42am i wish my boy was here right now. i will see him in about 3 or 4 hours. he'll be getting out of bed soon. in about 30minutes. and then he's on a train. and then he's here. and then he's with me. 6:45am this post is pointless really. but i have nothing else to do. i don't care if people read this or not i just want to write whats in my head. and i shall. cigarette time. 6:46 cigarrette time over. 6:51 i haven't been home in nearly three weeks. my parents are now back together. i wish they weren't. i don't think they know that i've dropped out of college again and i don't rlly want them to know either. they'll murder me. and i'm guessing that wouldn't be so fun. i wish i could go home though. for annie. i wish i could be there for her and hug her and make everything alright for her. after she's finished school she's moving out. so we don't have to be at home anymore. we're moving out together. that way we can get away from all the shit & we can start over. i'd like that. it would be neat. with annie. i love annie. this post is getting more and more pointless. but i never use livejournal anymore so lets just say i'm making up for all the other pointless posts i would have posted but was too lazy to do so. here it is all in one go. lauren likes it when i update. so does mari. i should start updating more often. more pointless stories and things that don't actually make sense. yess mari & lauren you will get as you have requested. i might make annie a livejournal too. then i can talk to her more when i don't see her. that would be nice. i might make that for her now. i have nothing else to do. 7:12am 7:33am its now 8:03am. everyones got up and gone to work and i'm still here. doing annies livejournal ! i should've made presents. paul will be here in about 2 hours. how exciting !! 8:04am 9:45am pauls not here yet. i'm going to smoke some cigarettes. theres now 03 s bodies under my floor

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